Summary
When we hear the word side quest, most of us imagine busywork done for the sake of experience, completionism or obtaining special items. Occasionally, however, they’re just a source of some much-needed levity.JRPGsare known for their grandiose andat times heartrending storylines, which is why it’s a relief when developers allow us to step back from the melodrama and enjoy a good belly laugh or two.
From recapturing a runaway cat to seeking out ingredients for the perfect instant ramen, here are some JRPG side quests that taught us that even in the most epic of adventures, there’s always room for a giggle.
Rescuing a cat is the archetypal heroic deed, andTales of Vesperia’sgroup takes time out from saving the environment to do just that. Our heroes find a distressed old lady whose cat is stuck on a roof, and Rita attempts to get it down by meowing at it. Estelle tries meowing, only to be told she’s doing it wrong.
Eventually, the party uses a pincer tactic to corner the cat and return it to its rightful owner. Estelle congratulates Rita on her selflessness, who retorts she was only doing it for fun. Karol asks them why they were meowing, and receives a sharp tap on the head.
Collecting stamps as a hobby has fallen out of fashion, but that doesn’t stopNier: Automata’samusement park receptionist from getting you to do exactly that. Early in the game, you’re given a stamp card with ten stamps to collect. You’re told that the prize for doing so isn’t just free, it’s deluxe.
Cue a myriad of bizarre interactions with the park machines, including possibly the most profane production of Romeo and Juliet, to obtain your stamps. Surprisingly, the reward for this side quest is actually decent, and the receptionist gives you some food for thought to go with it.
Chrono Crosshas 45 recruitable characters, which means many side quests end in a new party member. One of the more memorable ones is the visual-kei-inspired bard Nikki, who can be found early in the game.
After failing to get the monsters to listen to his knockoff Sweet Child O' Mine rendition, Nikki runs off into a cave where you can get him to join your party. Before that, however, he offers to sing for you. All three dialogue choices you’re given are a different way of saying no.
The second town inEarthBoundis home to the flagrant show-off Orange Kid, whose reputation is built on being ‘groovy.’ When you meet him, he acts embarrassed about his local celebrity, before asking you for money to develop his Super Orange Machine - meant to spread peace and goodwill on earth.
So what does the Super Orange Machine do? Nothing, really. It sings a song of praise for Orange Kid, that you never get to hear as it promptly breaks down. Two hundred dollars well spent.
The Like a Dragon series is so chock-full of hilarious side quests that it’s hard to pick just one, butInfinite Wealth’sRock and Roll is definitely a contender. While you’re on Aloha Beach, you’ll find a rock star and his crew trying to conjure up a storm for his music video. Unfortunately, each day by the seaside is more idyllic than the last.
In true series fashion, the quest ends with you dressing in ridiculous attire to play a minigame and help them out with a little rain dance. Surprisingly, it actually works!
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Setting aside its tragic main story, Shadow Hearts Covenant is rife with comic relief, and nowhere is this more apparent than in the capital city of Nihonbashi. The party’s bruiser, Joachim, faces his former mentor, the Great Gama, in a wrestling tournament like no other.
Hilariously, while the tournament ostensibly features a hundred fights, the game itself chooses to skip most of them after the 26th. When a character breaks the fourth wall to question this, she’s told to stop nitpicking. We get the message, Shadow Hearts.
As a prequel, Crisis Core features a lot of callbacks to Final Fantasy 7, and some characters reappear. One of them, Yuffie Kisaragi, appears in an early mission as a young but enthusiastic Wutai clan member.
Protagonist Zack Fair lets her think she beat him so she’ll stay out of harm’s way, but eventually he starts receiving anonymous text messages from a mysterious ‘Treasure Princess’ looking for a partner to find rare items. Lo and behold, the client is none other than Yuffie herself, and she’s just as spirited as you remember.
Valkyria Chronicles 4 features a host of memorable side characters - few more so than Simon. Despite his hardcore punk image, he’s a sweetheart who’s intimidated by women. When he’s teamed up with fellow shocktroopers Emmy and Viola for a side quest, he morphs into a proper gentleman.
Hearing Simon exchange his usual crass dialogue for a more refined cadence is one of the funniest parts of Valkyria Chronicles 4. It’s worth playing the game with the English dub for these scenes alone. Heartwarmingly, the quest ends with Simon coming out of his shell to be a better squadmate.
Video game development doesn’t come cheap, especially for one as vast asFinal Fantasy 15. Instead of aiming for subtlety with its product placement, Square Enix decided to take refuge in audacity. When you’re about to leave Lestallum, Gladiolus starts waxing poetic about Cup Noodles and asks what ingredient you think would go best with them - meat, eggs or shrimp.
Regardless of your answer, you’ll end up defeating an oversized monster for your ingredient - only for the boys to decide that Cup Noodles are perfect no matter what you combine them with. This scene actually had two takes for the voice acting: one serious, one ironic. you’re able to guess which one made it into the game.
