Hey you! Yes, YOU, the person reading this on your screen! Guess what? You’re now part of aDeadpoolmonologue. Congratulations! Your life has peaked. Hold onto your chimichangas because the most Earth-shattering news since the invention of spandex has just dropped. Deadpool, that red-suited rapscallion, that mouthy mercenary, that fourth-wall demolition expert, that self-proclaimed Marvel Jesus is getting his very own action figure!
And, oh yeah, his frenemy Wolverine is tagging along too. Because why have one awesome action figure when you can have two (Wait. Never mind. It’s one. Wolvie’s isn’tthatawesome).
DEADPOOL FIGURE = HOTTER THAN EVER
Anyhoozy, like I was saying, Tamashii Nations just made your wildest dreams come true. Well,secondwildest. Your first wildest is still that thing with the - FOCUS!!
Deadpool & Wolverine - Deadpool
The Merc With An Action Figure
This collectible is based on the “Deadpool & Wolverine” movie. Standing about 6 inches tall, it features Deadpool in his updated suit. The figure also comes with multiple accessories, including katanas, guns, and interchangeable hands and eyes.
Okay, so first up, we have this cute little mini-me. And this baby’s got more features than I have scars, and trust me, that’s saying something:
Yes, I know what you’re thinking: “But Deadpool, how can a plastic figure be as charming as Ryan Reynolds?” Well, it can’t. But it’s trying its best, okay? Don’t hurt its feelings. They’re very sensitive. Like me.
DEADPOOL’S BURNING HOT TIP: Buy two! One for the shelf, and one for those lonely nights when you need someone to talk to about the existential dread of being a comic book character aware of your own fictional nature!
And remember, kids: With great power comes great– OH LOOK, A SQUIRREL!
Deadpool & Wolverine - Wolverine
The Worst At What He Does
This S.H.Figuarts Wolverine figure is based on the “Deadpool & Wolverine” movie. It stands about 6.1 inches tall, featuring Wolverine in his iconic yellow suit and mask. The figure comes with interchangeable hands and head parts to recreate different expressions and poses.
The Catch
So, here’s the dealio: These figures won’t be out until February 2025. I know, right? By then, we’ll probably be on our 15th Spider-Man reboot.
But hey, good things come to those who wait. Like sequels with critical exposition. And multiversal crossovers. And that pizza you ordered an hour ago. You should really give them a call and see what the hold up is.
Bottom Line
Look, you beautiful reader, you. We both know this is just a marketing ploy to get you to buy action figures. But let’s be real: you were gonna buy them anyway. Because who doesn’t want a miniature Ryan Reynolds…erm, I mean,Deadpoolon their shelf? Pre-order them now, because once they’re on sale, they’re gonna fly off shelves faster than you can say Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
So slap down your hard-earned cash (or someone else’s cash, I don’t judge) and get ready for the greatest six inches of plastic to ever grace your sweaty palms. Use them to act out scenes from the movies. Or don’t. Maybe just stare at them and contemplate the nature of existence. Are you real? Am I real? Is anything real?
